|being selfish and petty
||[Apr. 10th, 2005|04:03 am]
|||||let her cry - hootie an d the blowfish||]|
seriously, if there was a way for tonight to get worse, it did.
and i'll admit to being selfish. and honestly, i didn't think about my "problems" (or what i make out to be problems...) the entire time i was in the ER.
and i say "problems" because i imagine they're only there because i'm putting them there.
i'm not making any sense and i haven't even drank.
yet somehow i have alcohol to blame for everything that's stressing me right now.
except my sister. that didn't have anything to do with alcohol. just that she hates me.
okay hates is a strong word. i hope she doesn't hate me. i wish she liked me more though.
and seriously, i just want to be able to come home to someone at 4 am after a night like tonight and have him hold me and say everything is going to be okay.
i realize, of course, that is 4 am and i'm living in a dreamworld and i already have close to perfection.. and i still want more.
that goes back to me being selfish.
yup, i'm not going to sleep tonight.